What every student should know about university residence

-It will be loud. All the time. “Quiet hours” are a lie, so if doors slamming, yelling, or drunken yodelling bother you, invest in earplugs

-People on your floor know everything about your life. Even if you’ve never talked to them. A girl from down the hall once came up to me and was like, “Who’s that guy you always have over? He’s really cute. Are you dating him? You should date him.” That was the first conversation I’d ever had with her.

-Everything will smell like weed always

-Don’t try to get anything done on Thursday nights

-There will always be someone drinking. Even on a Tuesday afternoon, and even during finals. Okay, especially during finals.

-Everyone’s fridges really only end up containing alcohol and maybe some hummus. Hummus makes really good drunk food.

-There will always be someone drinking their seventh cup of coffee

-There will always be that person who never gets out of their pyjamas, and as far as you know, never goes to class. Is there a degree in playing video games I don’t know about?

-In spite of the fact that you all live a few feet away from each other, people play online video games together in separate rooms

-At any given second someone is always saying “I should be doing school work right now” while watching youtube videos, playing video games, or just lying in bed doing absolutely nothing

-Half the floor is always sick. I swear, we just pass the same cold back and forth over and over

-No one knows where the library is

-Like three people on the floor know how to do laundry and they have to teach everyone else. Scratch that. All of the girls know how to do laundry and like three of the guys do. Not sexist if it’s true.

-No one has ever attempted to clean their bathroom

-The vacuum has been used maybe four times. Two out of four times were to vacuum up puke.

Frosh Day 3-Chanting and Cheetos

Things I learned today:

-There is literally nothing that you cannot turn into a cheer. Whether it’s cheering on your frosh group, beaking the university across town, or even like, brushing your teeth, it can become chantable. “B-R-U-S-H, CAVITIES WE REALLY HATE!” It’s hard to believe that on the first day we were afraid to yell out anything. Now we yell so much that it’s hard to get us to stop. The band that played tonight had to pause between songs because we would start chanting things, and my throat is so sore that it feels like it’s on fire.

-I’m an idiot. (Here is an embarrassing story for you Jaco) All week I’ve been super frustrated because although my room card opens the door to my room, it wouldn’t open the door to get onto my floor. I tried every possible way to swipe it, I changed the code that I had to enter with the swipe. It was starting to become so irritating that I had to bang on the door to be let onto my own floor, so finally I declared to some friends that I was going ‘to go down to the housing office and get a new card. At which point one of the girls said, “You’re using your campus card, not your room key card, right?”

…I was using the wrong card the whole time. Idiot. Stupid stupid Kay.

-I can make friends. There’s so many people to meet all the time holy crap. At first it was exciting, but after a while it was just frustrating because there’s so many people introducing themselves all the time and some of them are complete idiots.

Paris speed dating

I finally met a few people I click with though, which is nice. One is a fellow j-schooler, a short Japanese girl with a love for musical theatre and nitpicky details. We spent an hour tonight in my room eating Cheetos and picking apart the university newspaper. Ex. “Ugh that is not the layout I would have done for those photos” (crunch). “Oh totally, and that phrase is totally against the style guide” (licks fingers). “What a great lead though!” (reaches into bag) “Headline could use some work but I love the alliteration” (crunch crunch).

Also, I met this cool film student who looks exactly like a younger Daniel Radcliffe. I swear that if we get him some round glasses and paint on a scar he’ll be a dead ringer for Harry Potter. On top of that awesome fact, he is also a generally cool guy who was willing to nerd out with me over Lost and even Star Trek and Stargate SG1.

Time for bed. This whole blogging at 2am thing is really difficult, but it’s helping me unwind after an intense day. Thank goodness for this blog.