T-minus 24 hours

Tomorrow I move into residence at the university. This time tomorrow perhaps I’ll be sitting in my res room listening to Vampire Weekend pumping out of my new Bose speakers (a belated birthday present from my dad), or maybe I’ll be eating dinner with some of my floormates in the fantastic cafeteria, or starting a game of pick up soccer out on the lawn.

Even though we were actually on campus today paying fees and picking up my student card, it’s still hard to imagine actually being there, like really living there. University is all I’ve thought about all summer during all of those long, hot shifts at the diner and late nights staying up with my laptop. I’ve imagined a zillion different scenarios for that first day, and now that it’s finally here I don’t even know what to think. I keep ending up arguing with myself:

Me: I should wear a t shirt and shorts and be super chill and casual on the first day

Myself: Oh my god no people here are probably so trendy I don’t want to look like a loser I need to put an outfit together like stat. Crap my fedora is all crunched from my suitcase…

I: Who cares! Just wander around and go up and talk to people. You should try to be outgoing and meet a ton of people right away!

Me: Well I don’t want to try to hard…maybe I’ll just chill in my room or something, at least for the first night…

Myself: But then who am I going to eat with? If I don’t meet people I’ll have to go to the cafeteria by myself and sit alone…

I: See this is my point, we need to get out and meet people! Who knows? We might meet our future best friend or boyfriend on the first day.

Me: Crap that’s a lot of pressure for one day.

So yeah. Wish me luck. As you can see, the hype for this day has gotten a little ridiculous.

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The life of a waitress

Waitress is actually one of my new favorite movies, and not just because I am one

Waitress is actually one of my new favorite movies, and not just because I am one

Here’s another waitressing rant, because that’s mostly what I’ve been doing this summer. We get about five different types of customers at the restaurant I work at, which is a low quality, high volume sort of diner place.

First there’s the little old couples. They make up a huge portion of our clientelle and they sit there quietly sipping their coffees and share the clubhouse and fries and maybe they’ll have soup as well on a special occasion. They’re adorable and sweet, although half the time I’m pretty sure they can’t hear what I’m saying. Also, they haven’t quite caught up with inflation, so their tips tend to be a few quarters.

There’s always the teenagers and twenty somethings, who are really chill and don’t need a lot of attention, but always order the most annoying items like milkshakes which take me forever to make. And they constantly need refills. Apparently we teenagers are thirsty people I guess.

There’s always a lot of young families too, and they’re generally nice, but always look tired and overwhelmed by the whole restaurant experience. They’re the most likely to say something like, “do you just have a ham sandwich?” because they’re too exhausted or busy dealing with their kids to read the menu. The kids always make a big mess, but most parents at least make some effort to clean up after them and smile at me apologetically as they leave. I appreciate the thought at least.

Then there’s the empty nesters, who are maybe in their late forties or early fifties and have nothing to do but go out for every meal. One of them (usually the woman, sorry girls) tends to be overly picky. I don’t know why this is true for this age group, but I swear, whenever a middle aged couple comes one of them is all like, no tomatoes, mushrooms instead, and can I add bacon? And do you have raspberry vinaigrette dressing? No? Well then I don’t want dressing. Actually I’ll have oil and vinegar then. On the side. And chicken grilled, not breaded. And this coffee tastes old hon, you better make me a new pot. And I want milk with my coffee, not cream and honey instead of sugar.

….ARGHHHHH! Okay I get that people have personal preferences; I myself like milk in my coffee instead of cream. But I feel like some people honestly just do this to make my life worse.

If there’s anything waitressing has taught me it’s that I’m not as normal as I thought I was, at least not when it comes to eating out. First of all, I order off the menu. I’ve never tried to order something that wasn’t on the menu, but I would say about a third of my customers do. The other thing is that I actually read the menu. I would say three quarters or more of the people who come into the diner choose their meal based on the pictures. We have these awesome banana pecan pancakes, but I swear that the reason no one orders them is because there’s no picture. The two most common items ordered also happen to be the two that have the biggest pictures. That’s hardly a coincidence, and honestly, it makes me kind of sad. People also never read to see what sides their meal comes with, and they always seem surprised when I ask them. A lot of times I’m like, “how do you like your eggs?” and they’re like, “this comes with eggs?”

The jury is out on this whole waitressing thing. On one hand it’s both tiring and depressing, but on the other hand, some customers are really great and they make my day. I love the sarcastic old guys who come in and tease me, and the older ladies who come in together to catch up and laugh. I love our cook, who is always trying to make me smile, and the other waitresses who are so excited for me and want to hear all about my university plans.

And okay, the tips don’t suck.

P.S. I’m on Twitter now! Check me out @kaysfairytale

Welcome to the class

Helloooo!

I only recently read this post from back in March by Mrs. Roberson, who is an awesome blogger and probably also an awesome teacher. She’s a really big advocate for teens and she also gives some good advice.

Anyway, in the post she basically says that she would love to have an English class with all of the teen bloggers she follows. I mean seriously, what an awesome idea! The hitch in the plan is that we’re all in different grades on different parts of the planet of course.

BUT I still really like this idea, so this is my plan: we are going to have our own little class in the interwebs. Even if you’ve graduated or you’re not even a teenager anymore, you are STILL invited! Here is how we’re going to do it:

1) Make an account on the Better Blogger Network. It’s a really cool little site.

2) Go to GROUPS and join Mrs. Roberson’s Class.

3) Start a discussion about favourite authors, college majors, or essay topics. Post book reviews. Share links to your latest posts. Let’s not only talk but also support each other as young bloggers!

I think that there’s a lot of teen bloggers out there and we could make a really cool community if we worked at it a little. Here is who I am inviting to the group, but please please please invite all of your teen blogger and young adult blogger friends!

The anonymous teenage girlanotherteenagegirlblogAwkward, American, and AngstyBawkTalkBlackBirdSpeaksCackles.From.A.Mad.DuckCiara-Marie!Dear Teen of GraceDefeating DragonsdefineemilyElixir of MemoriesGeneration Challenge\henadoesstuffInsatiable Before DeathThe Little ThingsLittle Sweet and SourLove, Hate, LifeMy Momentary VowMy Never Never LandNever StationaryThe problem with societySuper Opinion8tedSydneyJoToThe Quiet VoiceTeenage Dream…Teenage EnthusiasmTell me, when will my life begin?The Turn of the Earth;Wondering, Fearing, Doubting misssamanthajill thought orchard itsjustjaco thoughtsofthesummit 33degrees wackadoodle tearlilly geeklygirl Nickerson

Some of you I have already invited, but you know, take the second invite as a compliment! Can’t wait to see you guys on BBN!

If my life were a bad rom com

Dad: So have you thought at all about what the first few weeks of university will be like?

Kay: …ARE YOU JOKING?? It’s been all I’ve been thinking about for the last six months or so!!

Dad: Oh, I had no idea…

Okay, so maybe I haven’t brought it up; I certainly haven’t on this blog. Let me just say it now then; I AM SO EXCITED FOR UNIVERSITY! I get to live in a whole new city, I get to meet a whole ton of new people, I get to choose all of my classes and pick things I actually like and I get to live in residence, which I’ve heard is kind of like summer camp, but better.

To say that it’s all I’ve been thinking about might be a bit of an exaggeration. I also sometimes think about eating, sleeping, and dressing, and every once in a while I manage to do my homework. However, my brain isn’t really here anymore, it’s already at university. I’ve just got to wait a couple more months for my body to follow.

The problem of course, is that although I’ve seen the campus, I don’t know what my classes are going to be like, or the people for that matter. Since I’m lacking sufficient data to make accurate predictions about what the first few weeks are going to be like, I’ve been forced to make it up.

My imagination is a really scary place; once it gets started it’s very hard to stop. When I’m looking forward to something, I tend to make up hundreds of possible scenarios, each playing out like a movie in my head and all with dramatic, rom-com-esque happy endings. This is the result of what I like to call my fairytale complex and it is the reason behind the name of this blog and my blog name if you were wondering.

Here is one of the more university scenarios I’ve dreamed up lately. Enjoy the ridiculousness and the delicious cheesiness.

Also, in this rom com you can imagine me played by Ellen Page (according to Becca, Ellen Page is my spirit animal)

Ellen Page

I show up to my dorm room and there’s a boy sitting there. A really hot boy. I look at my map and my res papers. This doesn’t seemed right. Wasn’t I supposed to be rooming with a girl? Did I get the room wrong or the building wrong? Nope. 

Zac efron

If the guy happened to look exactly like Zac Efron I would be okay with that

Kay: Uh, hi. Are you sure this is your room?

Hot guy: Are you sure this is your room?

So we go to the admin and find out that they got confused and thought I was a guy because of my name. However, all of the other res rooms are full so we have nowhere else to go.

Kay: I guess one of us should get an apartment.

HG: Yeah, one of us.

Kay: Dibs out.

HG: Hey! No, you should have to move out. I got here first.

Kay: Well, I mean, I lived with a brother for like fifteen years. It really wouldn’t be a big deal if we lived together. 

HG: Really? Are you sure?

Kay: Yeah, we just need some ground rules. Pants on at all times. 

HG: No spraying girly perfume in here .

Kay: No bringing girls back here.

HG: No bringing guys back here.

Kay: No hooking up with each other.

HG: Deal.

Kay: Deal.

So we spend a very strange year living together. At first it’s super awkward and there’s lots of embarrassing crap-I-almost-saw-you-naked or here’s-your-underwear-it-was-under-my-desk moments. We get better at it though, and we end up going to parties together and he helps me with my homework and I help him get home when he’s hammered and puking. 

But then I start dating a cute guy from my journalism class and he starts being weird and rude and distant and he won’t tell me why. I can’t figure out why he keeps telling me that the guy I’m dating is a douche bag. After a couple months we break up, and so I tell HG what happened. I thought he would be happy but he continues being weird and distant, so finally I confront him about it, and I start yelling about how I thought we were friends and friends don’t ice friends out. And then he says,

“I don’t want to just be friends.”

And then he kisses me super dramatically in a grassy field while the sunny is setting.

pride_and_prejudice

And then the credits start rolling.

Grad checklist

T-minus one week until grad! Yeah, I know it’s weird. We “graduate” over May long weekend, and then we have to go back to school for three more weeks. It’s weird being in school mode and graduating mode at the same time. On top of that I’m planning my summer and planning university stuff for the fall. It’s an odd time in my life, really. It’s like I have one foot out the door, but I’m not leaving for three and half more months.

My to-do list for the next week looks like this:

-Recover from the AP English Lit exam today, which turned me into a puddle of angst. Nothing like three hours of  writing essays and dissecting poetry full of words you don’t understand to make you feel like you don’t know anything.

-Grandma’s 80th birthday this weekend. And once grandma goes to bed my cousin and I are sneaking out for a pre-grad party with her friends.

-Plan for hangover on Sunday from said party

-Go to pre-grad hair appointment on Monday and have an angst session with my stylist while we figure out what to do with my hair for the grad banquet.

grad shoes

But seriously how awesome are my shoes?

-Get those little nipple stickers because I can’t wear a bra with my grad dress. I don’t want to have to cross my arms every time it gets drafty at the banquet.

-Break in the mint green four inch platforms (they seemed like a good idea in the store while the saleslady gushed about how they make my legs look a mile long. I mean, they do, but I’m not sure I can walk in them.)

-Get accessories that will somehow match said shoes

-GET A SUMMER JOB because otherwise I don’t know how I’ll be able to pay for university

-Figure out when I have to register for university classes

-Figure out what to tell people when they ask me how the hell I plan on making a living with a journalism degree

-Finish reading Jane Eyre and then write a really profound essay about it to make up for the crappy excuse for a research paper that I submitted about Charlotte Bronte

-Try to not fail Chemistry

-At the very least try to not fall asleep in chem every day next week

-Pray for no rain on banquet day so that we don’t have to take grad pics in someone’s living room

-Take photos of field hockey, the world’s most boring and pointless sport, for the school paper (seriously what is the point of making the ball so heavy and the sticks so short that you have to hunch over? It’s like they’re purposely trying to make the game suck)

-Get caught up on Grey’s Anatomy before the season finale

-At least make an appearance at soccer at some point so they know that I’m still alive

-Ditto with track practice. I just need to attend enough practices so I don’t actually face plant in hurdles at the upcoming meet

-Send the school paper to the printers after editing all 48 pages. 48 pages of crap I might add. My articles are included in that crap because I haven’t had the time or energy to care all that much.

-Listen to all the hipster music Pal keeps sending me

-Try to remember to enjoy my senior year or something

-Try to remember why I thought I’d enjoy my senior year

-Try to not scare off all of my friends with the angsty noises I keep making

 

How to be a chemistry teacher

Hey you! Yeah, YOU! Have you always wanted to teach high school chemistry? GOOD NEWS! It’s very easy and requires almost no effort Here’s some quick and easy tips to get you started:

-The longer you talk, the more your students will listen. Make sure to go off on tangents about topics that aren’t in the curriculum. Hell, you might as well talk for the whole class, because it really helps students learn, especially in first period. That glazed over look their eyes have? That means they’re listening really closely.

-Read straight out of the textbook. Students don’t know how to do this on their own, so they’ll appreciate it.

-Pare down your wardrobe to three gaudy, ill-fitting shirts from the 70s. This will show your students that you care more about your teaching than you do about your appearance.

-Comb over your hair to cover up your receding hairline. It totally works; you can’t even tell that you’re bald.

-Add personal anecdotes to your teaching. For example, when talking about conduction of sound waves, mention how you once went to a Metallica concert and didn’t like it because it was “too noisy.” Stories like this will help you connect with the young people you are teaching.

Remember, if your entire class fails the provincial exam, it’s not because you didn’t prepare them properly. They’re clearly just lazy, or else they don’t understand your genius.

 

Motivation

I remember when I cared about school. I used to dress up nice. I used to show up a little early to see my friends. I used to do my homework. I used to shower more than once a week.

It’s really hard to stay motivated when I have just over a month of high school left and only two actual classes. In fact, it’s really tempting to just give up going to school and just watch Netflix and sleep for the the next two months.

Here are my reasons for continuing to attend classes:

-I’ve been “sick” too many days this year alreadyI'm sick

 

 

 

 

 

 

-If I don’t pass English I actually won’t graduate

-I get to see my friends…who are just as depressed about being at school as I am

-I might meet a cute boy LOL JK

-When I stay home for two many days on end I start baking obsessively, and my dad’s cholesterol really can’t handle the fifteen cakes I might make

-I’ve already watched the first five seasons of Lost on Netflix but season six kind of sucks

(In case you were wondering, the last reason is the only one that’s motivating me go to school)