How not to flirt with your waitress

I have three more shifts left at the diner. Thank god. The thing is, I can handle the breakfast rush, not having time for a lunch break, sore arms from carrying overloaded trays, and the total lack of AC. I’m a big girl, and I can suck it up since I’m making a ton of money.

What is driving me insane is everyone hitting on me.

I sound full of myself when I say that, but I’m not. It’s annoying, and also ridiculous because  my work uniform is about the most unflattering black polyester known to man, and I don’t wear make up or even try with my hair while I’m there. If I went to a bar dressed like that, I guarantee that every guy there would ignore me. But oh no, not at the diner.

Uh uh, I have the fifteen year old dishwasher asking me if I have a boyfriend and trying to convince me that three years isn’t even that much and I should give him a chance. Then there’s the Indian cook probably in his twenties who tells me my hair looks nice and makes me whatever food I want in spite of the strict no-free-food-for-servers policy. Oh, and did I mention that he asked me if I was married? Married. I guess that if I grew up in India that would be plausible, but the very mention of the idea almost caused me to spit my coffee all over the kitchen floor.

And don’t even get me started on the customers. I told a middle aged guy that he won a free breakfast from our latest promo, and he told me he’d like to win a date with me instead. I mean, seriously? First of all, guys actually use those lines? And second of all, they use them on barely legal waitresses?

None of this is sexual harassment; in fact it’s all pretty harmless. I guess it just weirds me out because in my head I think of myself as this child playing at being a grown up, but when people look at me, they see me as a grown woman. It’s just another example of how I don’t feel like an adult. When exactly does that happen? Or does it ever happen at all?

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20 thoughts on “How not to flirt with your waitress

  1. Kay, Becoming an adult creaps up on you. One day your a care free young adult, the next your all grown up, You look around yourself and go “when the hell did that happen.” It takes some folks longer than others, for me it didn’t happen until I became a dad. — Take care, Bill

  2. When I was 18, some 60-year old man flat out asked me to have dinner with him. I was at Starbucks, doing my homework like a good university student. A lady at a nearby table shamed him. Oh she shamed him–loudly. It was so embarrassing and hilarious at the same time. She said something along the lines of “She’s young enough to be your granddaughter!”

  3. I think they do see a child playing at being a grown-up. I’m not sure grown-up women are flirted with quite as much. You’re fair game.

    Some people treat flirting like small talk. It’s weird, but it’s done.

    • Yeah I know exactly what you mean. I’m usually okay with flirting as a form of small talk. It sure beats unfriendly people.

      • Personally, I find it odd as small talk, because at the back of my mind I can’t help thinking, you know, about those little things: You’re 20 years older than me and you kind of look like my Uncle Dave. It’s kind of like being able to see someone’s underwear. Everyone is beautiful until the idea of their sexuality comes to mind, and then a lot of the time it’s just sort too much information.

  4. Having just turned 30 all I can say is I’ll let you know when the starting to feel like a grown up happens!!

  5. Good question…I’m 39 and I’ll let you know when it happens!

  6. I was in Turkey last week, and when I was in a park by myself, I had three men accost me and call me “the most beautiful girl in the world.” If only I was thirteen still, I’d be totally flattered! Now I’m just creeped out when guys do that. I feel like an adult because I’m totally jaded by the things that guys say to get my attention. I’m nineteen, but I feel like I’ve heard every line already! I’m sure you have too – seems like there’s nothing new under the sun these days.

    • Yeah it’s funny to think back to when I was younger and all I wanted was to be seen that way and now it’s just really annoying.
      You went to Turkey? Last week? That sounds amazing!

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