Started a pandemic whoopsies

Grad was awesome. My hair and make up turned out just right, my friends and I had a ton of fun and I didn’t spill punch on my white dress, flash anyone while getting out of the limo, or break my ankle on my four inch heels (although I did get a really nasty blister. I should’ve broken those suckers in).

It was an amazing night, except for the part where I infected everyone with a deadly disease.

Okay, not deadly exactly. But it was pretty bad. Let me explain. The weekend before grad my cousin flew in from Toronto for my grandma’s birthday shindig, and she was supposed to sing and play piano at the party, except that she had an awful cold and had lost her voice. I didn’t think anything of it. I probably hugged her fifteen or so times. I might have even shared a glass with her or something, I don’t remember.

Anyway, flash forward to that Monday night, when I’m suddenly running a fever of like 1000 degrees (1000 degrees Celsius, not Fahrenheit obviously). Tuesday I spent laying on the couch catching up on General Hospital and feeling like I was swallowing razorblades. Finally, Wednesday I started feeling more like a human and less like a snot machine. Yesss I thought. I’ll be better just in time for grad! Except Thursday was rainy, and it was also the divisional track meet and soccer practice back to back. In other words, Kay outside in the rain all day. Great way to cure a cold, seriously, I so recommend it.

Friday was grad day and I was too excited to care that my throat was sore. I shoved some tissues in my clutch and popped an Advil cold and sucked it up. I was the prettiest booger monster the world had ever seen.

As far as anyone can tell, the infection started to spread at the after-grad party. There was a fair amount of beer cup sharing and shot glass sharing (apparently alcohol doesn’t sterilize as well as we’d thought) and 40 people sleeping on the floor of one person’s basement is never exactly germ free. Also, pulling an all nighter as Jan, Sar, Dee, and I did is not a good disease fighting technique either.

We didn’t have to go to school until Wednesday, but even so, the casualties from the pandemic were evident when I walked into class that day. Dee, Jo, and Alt were all missing (Jo and Alt are dating, so it’s kind of implied that when one is sick, they’re both sick). Mat walked in late with bags under his eyes, and Jan sat quietly in the corner with a tissue box. Sniffles were coming from every direction. The only ones who were safe from the pandemic seemed to be Vee and Andy, most likely because they spent most of the party in one of the bedrooms doing who knows what.

Was the fun we had at grad worth spreading my disease to all my friends? I think so, but obviously I can’t speak for them. It is worth mentioning that I got the worst of it. All day Saturday I literally couldn’t speak at all.

Even now, nearly a week later, my throat is still burning and people are still dropping from the dread disease. At this point, it could last indefinitely. If I were you guys, I would start stashing canned goods and hiding in your basement. I wouldn’t say no to those surgeon mask things either. This is getting pretty intense. If you don’t hear from me again…I’m probably the first casualty of what will soon be a worldwide pandemic.

And all in the name of grad.


2 thoughts on “Started a pandemic whoopsies

  1. “1000 degrees Celsius, not Fahrenheit obviously”

    LOL. this blog makes my life better.

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