I just want to leave…but I don’t…but I do

With my Kenya trip only two days away I’m super crazy excited. It’s going to be so amazing and I love travelling and meeting new people and trying new things. And we have the chance to do some real good which is incredibly exciting all by itself. I’m busily packing and emailing my teammates and our hosts in Nairobi (who are already telling me that they’re going to kick my ass at soccer, uh oh). I want to soak up every moment of this trip.

So that’s mostly what is going through my mind right now. But the problem with travelling is that before you go, you have to take care of stuff at home. And right now I have some mixed feelings about what I’m leaving behind.

-On one hand, After my semester from hell, I’m glad to be missing some school. I’ve been in a constant state of extreme stress more or less since September, and even though I finished exams on Monday, I am still recovering. Monday afternoon when I got home from my physics exam, I crashed on the couch and had a six hour nap. It was like the moment I finally got to relax my body just shut down.

-Missing school is gonna suck. And okay, I arranged it so that I’ve got almost nothing school-wise this semester. In English all I have to do it read a play, and we don’t put out the school paper until the middle of March, so I’m not missing anything in Journalism. But chem is going to screw me over. I found out that I’m going to be missing all of thermochemistry while I’m gone. I don’t even know what thermochemistry is. Catching up is going to be super fun.

-I’ll miss my friends. And okay, I get that it’s only three weeks, but still. I’ve spent so much time with both my town and city friends this week, and it’s just making me realize how much I’m going to miss them. Last night we had a movie night at Dee’s in which we mostly sat around talking about all of the ridiculous things we’ve done together, and I realized not only am I going to miss them over the next three weeks, but even more so when we’ve all gone our separate ways after we graduate in June. But that’s another post for another day.

-I want to ask Tim out. I like him a lot and I really want to tell him so. It’s just that being halfway across the world is putting a wrench in that plan. Guess I’ll have to wait until I get back.

These are just some things I’ve been feeling, but I know that they’ll feel a whole lot less significant when we’re finally on the ground in  Kenya. I have a feeling that just being there is going to change my priorities a whole lot.


9 thoughts on “I just want to leave…but I don’t…but I do

  1. If it’s only three weeks, you probably won’t have time to miss anyone. The missing when you are in a new country usually sets in a bit later, when you’ve gotten more used to all this newness.

    Did you go on that second date? If you ran out of time, send him a text just because. He needs to know you’re interested.

    Okay, that’s it. You’ll be fine. We’ll miss you too.

  2. Just throwin’ it out there. But I think you should plan a date with Tim for when you get back. Then you’ll have something to look forward to at the end of the trip when you’ll be sad to be leaving 🙂 Also, then I can know we’re getting great Agrica stories AND juicy Tim stories 😉 haha

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