How to repel guys: Part 2

This is continued from How to repel guys: a beginner’s guide, which you can read here. Or you can scroll down you lazybones.

The short story is that there was no second date. After I came back from the weekend in Phoenix, I had one text from him that said “Hey!”  At that point I was still thrilled from our first date and feeling super optimistic, so I texted him back immediately.

Kay: Hey! (some joke about crazy old people in trailer parks in Arizona)

Tim: (Old people joke that I chuckled at)

Kay: So about that second date…

Tim: I’m on it. Just trying to plan something that can top skating and Tim Horton’s.

Kay: Uh okay cool. Let me know when you’ve come up with something.

And then I didn’t hear from him. Okay, I told myself, I read some signals wrong. Maybe he was just too polite to say that he didn’t have as much fun on our date as I did. Maybe there’s another girl he likes. Maybe the only reason we stayed out so late on that first date was because he was too polite to say he had to go.

But none of those justifications made sense to me. I mean, that date had felt so good. I couldn’t have been the only one to notice that. And then there was this conversation with Nee a week or so after I got back from Phoenix:

Nee: So I was talking to Tim…

Kay: (Immediately perks up but tries to play it cool) Oh really?

Nee: He says you guys went on a date and it went really well. Does he mean the skating thing? I didn’t realize that was a date…

Kay: Yeah it kind of turned into one.

Nee: Well do you like him?

Kay: (awkward smile) I like him a lot…

Nee: Oops. I kind of told him that you weren’t interested in him. I mean, I didn’t think he was really your type.

Kay: Noo why did you do that? And since when do I have a type??

Nee: Sorry! But for what it’s worth I think he really likes you. He was super excited and he was like, I think I have a chance with her!

Kay: (still trying to play it cool but actually exploding with relief and excitement) Really? That’s great. I hope he asks me on another date.

He didn’t.

I mean, was it because Nee told him that I didn’t like him? He wouldn’t give up solely based on that, would he?

I give up. On trying to understand guys, on trying to attract them and letting myself like them. It doesn’t seem to matter if I think I’m doing everything right. Clearly I have some sort of guy repeller vibe that scares off any potential suitors. Maybe it’s because I use words like suitors.

Okay WordPress people, I need advice. What am I doing wrong?

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31 thoughts on “How to repel guys: Part 2

  1. Darn friends. I know they mean well 🙂

    My advice? Casually bring it up in conversation…something like, “Hey, remember when we stayed up til like 2 in the morning and talking and giggling? That was so fun. I’d love to do that again…”

    Or there’s option number two: “You. Me. Coffee. Friday.” Sometimes straightforward works.

    If he knows you’re still interested, maybe he’ll give it another go. Good luck!

    • You sound like you’re one of those people that’s really smooth with guys. Thanks for the advice!

      • Well, I’m not so sure I’m “smooth” as I am awkward. I’ve just decided to be okay with being awkward.

        I tried a variation of option number two with this current “crush” I have because he is very bad at flirting. Very. Bad. He doesn’t ask me to hang out he demands that I show up. (He’ll figure it out some day…right?) Anyway, I decided to flip the tables on him and he actually was really open to it! Unfortunately, it didn’t work out that time to hang out, but that’s what next weekend is for, right?

        Never stop being you. If he doesn’t want to be with the real you, he’s not worth it. 🙂

    • Absolutely agree – I think he got intimidated by your friend saying he didn’t have a chance!

      And I like the, “You. Me. Friday” definitely a good approach – especially since she’s told you he likes you. No worries that he doesn’t like you – because he already told her he does!!

      Please please ask him out! This is selfish on my part as I can’t wait to “Awwwww” over your next date 😉

  2. Have you tried talking to him? I hear that works ;). I went through a lot of this though. It sounds to me like you are oblivious to your charm and guys are intimidated by you. This of course makes no sense to you, so you assume they just aren’t interested. Potential relationships are lost because of it.

  3. Just verifying, your friend told him you weren’t interested AFTER the date, right? Oh, and are you sure the friend isn’t interested in him. May have been motivation for deferring him? (not trying to make accusations)

    • Yeah, she told him after the date. And I’m fairly certain she isn’t interested in him. I think it’s the opposite, like she has such a platonic relationship with him that she can’t actually fathom a girl wanting to date him. Valid question though.

  4. Yes! It is the reason! Number one rule about guys is they don’t like rejection! Call him! Text him! I hope you’re getting the point! Or do I need more exclamation marks?!

  5. Stay strong! You’re a fox and sooner orl later, the right guy will come along. of course, you’ll probably be in a relationship at that point…
    Kidding! You’re gonna be fine, cutie!

  6. Yes, the reason why he didn’t continue to pursue you was because your friend straight-up told him you weren’t interested in him. Think about it in reverse: would you pursue a guy if his friend told you he wasn’t interested? Probably not.

    The only way of solving this is if you talk to him yourself about how you feel! No more messengers or middlemen 😛

    • You mean I have to actually act like a grown up and say what I mean? Well that just seems to obvious

      • I would definitely say the best approach is to ask him why he never got back to you about a second date and then tell him you heard from your friend that she told him you weren’t interested. In other words, complete honesty. And believe me, most grown-ups don’t even do this. Figuring out how to tell a guy exactly what you intend and ask him honest questions is going to make your life a lot easier, in general.

  7. I wish I could tell you that they (boys) get better (more understandable) with time, but no. Ten years later, I still don’t have a clue.

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