This is how I pick up boys

Four of us went hiking the other day. Dee and I go hiking a lot together, and we thought it would be fun to invite a couple of our guy friends to come with us on an easy 14km jaunt through the woods. Jo and Andi seemed game, and Andi has been flirting with me for a while now, so I figured it would be a good opportunity to spend some time with him. And okay, I kind of thought that Andi would be impressed by my outdoorsy-ness.

This picture was taken on a different glacier water swimming adventure this summer with Lis. You can see how cold the water is just by looking at the colour.

But there are some things you should know about Dee and I when we go hiking:

-We yell a lot of crazy things. This is partially to scare off bears, but it’s also just fun because when you’re in a valley it echoes really awesomely (that’s totally a word, shut up) .  We also sometimes break out into random sections  of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody.

-We hike quite fast. The reason Dee and I don’t bring other girls on our hikes is because none of them tend to be strong enough to keep up with our pace. It’s not because we’re super awesome hikers, it has more to do with the fact that we’re so damn competitive.

-We do stupid things. On this particular outing we thought it would be a fantastic idea to strip down to shorts and a sports bra and jump into a lake. An ice cold, glacier-fed lake. It felt pretty much like the cold was tiny needles stabbing into your flesh, and as soon as you got in all you wanted to do was get out as fast as possible. The shock of it clears your head so well though. When you hit the water, it’s like your mind goes completely blank. I absolutely loved it.

Near the end of the trail, Dee and I were discussing previous hikes, comparing blisters, and complaining about the chafing that had resulted from walking back from the lake in wet sports bras. We also periodically yelled profanity, just in case the bears were listening.

When Dee started telling us about how badly her armpit hair had chafed her on a three week canoe trip this summer Andi finally spoke up.

“Wow, you guys are practically men,” he said.

So much for my sexy outdoorsy-ness. If you ever want to turn off a guy, just start talking about armpit hair.


14 thoughts on “This is how I pick up boys

  1. Without a doubt armpit hair is a show stopper!!! But it is a good lesson to learn now and not in 10 years. It appears you have some experience at scaring the bears, the screaming profanities would most likely keep not only the bears away, but a lot of folks too. All things considered, it sounds like a good hiking experience. — Bill

  2. You are my hero. I can’t wait to hear if Andi keeps flirting with you!

  3. Thanks for the laugh. Seriously. I wish I had been drinking some kind of hot beverage that would have been really gross to uncontrollably have come spurting out my nose. Because it was that kind of laugh.

  4. […] Have You Seen My Glass Slipper? A high school fairytale…in progress Skip to content Home20 Before 20CharactersPrologue ← This is how I pick up boys […]

  5. Oh god what Andi said is so priceless. You probably ruined his image of how girls should always be delicate and feminine, haha.

  6. […] Craziest thing you have done: Jumping into a glacial lake is up there. You can read that story here. […]

  7. Funny how a google search on “bohemian armpit hair” can lead you to a teen story. 😉 My response: when I was 17 I use to love scaring my exes 11 year old brother with my leg hair…though it wasn’t really THAT bad…if only he knew the armpit hair I’ve encountered. LOL

    • Hahaha it’s definitely a point of pride for any blogger to get hits from weird google searches. My question is, why were you searching “Bohemian armpit hair” in the first place?
      In any case, thanks for reading 🙂

      • I recall at the time I wasn’t shaving and felt I had to go to Google to find an excuse. I’ve shaved since then but it told me a lot about myself and the men I would date…how superficial the dating scene was and yes, I had fun with the social experiment.

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