The last first day of school

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for the sheer amount of teen angst in this post. Read at your own risk.

It’s senior year baby! Whoot. Time to own the halls. Time to rule the roost. Time to leave a legacy.

So why do I just want to go back to sleep?

There’s always so much hype about high school in movies, but the more time I spend in it, the less I get it.  And seriously, I’ve done all of the “high school” things. I’m the editor of the yearbook; I’m on the soccer team and the track team. I’ve gone to the parties and chased after the boys and followed the online drama (our high school made the news last year for something we got trending on Twitter).

Even now though, just hours before my senior year begins, I have just about zero excitement. I mean, yeah, I want to see my friends, but I know that other than that it’s going to be hours and hours and hours of learning government-designed courses that either teach me nothing, or teach me something that I deeply don’t care about. And I get to do so with thirty other kids per class who probably all feel the exact same way.

I really don’t want to complain about high school. I mean, it’s fine and everything. It’s just that when I started this blog this time two years ago, I was under the impression that high school was going to be extraordinary and life-changing and I was going to come out a completely different person. Frankly, right now I still feel like that same silly girl from two years ago, nervously smoothing her new skirt. Except a little more cynical. And this year I’m just going with a T-shirt and jeans.

I guess my real issue is this: I haven’t found my fairytale in high school. What if university and my twenties and thirties and forties don’t live up to the same hype either? I have high hopes for myself, but I’m just afraid that this is as good as it gets.


11 thoughts on “The last first day of school

  1. It DEFINITELY gets better. All of my friends still seem to reminisce about high school, and I am left thinking, “seriously?”. College is by far where the time of your life will be and well, probably all of your 20’s. Don’t fret!

  2. I’ve been out of high school for 20 years now. Believe me when I say that all the hype is there, you just aren’t seeing it yet. Right now you’re living it – the movies aren’t written by teenagers about teenagers. They’re written by adults about teenagers – about what they remember or wished would have happened. The most critical advice I could give you would be to enjoy where you are now. Don’t be too critical on yourself to “be” something in particular. Just be yourself, because really that’s the only one that matters anyway…

  3. I completely agree with becca about all of it. I think fondly of my friends and adventures in high school – but I wouldn’t go back for anything! And definitely take as much time as you can in college – and GPA doesn’t count for anything after you graduate ^.^
    And while you feel like you haven’t changed in high school, you’ll grow so much during your first year of college you’ll hardly recognize yourself!
    If you want a fun activity, write your future college graduating self a letter. With what you think might happen, what’s going on in your life now, etc. I did that, and it’s definitely an interesting and fun read years down the road! ^.^

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