Disclaimer: I am not responsible for the sheer amount of teen angst in this post. Read at your own risk.
It’s senior year baby! Whoot. Time to own the halls. Time to rule the roost. Time to leave a legacy.
So why do I just want to go back to sleep?
There’s always so much hype about high school in movies, but the more time I spend in it, the less I get it. And seriously, I’ve done all of the “high school” things. I’m the editor of the yearbook; I’m on the soccer team and the track team. I’ve gone to the parties and chased after the boys and followed the online drama (our high school made the news last year for something we got trending on Twitter).
Even now though, just hours before my senior year begins, I have just about zero excitement. I mean, yeah, I want to see my friends, but I know that other than that it’s going to be hours and hours and hours of learning government-designed courses that either teach me nothing, or teach me something that I deeply don’t care about. And I get to do so with thirty other kids per class who probably all feel the exact same way.
I really don’t want to complain about high school. I mean, it’s fine and everything. It’s just that when I started this blog this time two years ago, I was under the impression that high school was going to be extraordinary and life-changing and I was going to come out a completely different person. Frankly, right now I still feel like that same silly girl from two years ago, nervously smoothing her new skirt. Except a little more cynical. And this year I’m just going with a T-shirt and jeans.
I guess my real issue is this: I haven’t found my fairytale in high school. What if university and my twenties and thirties and forties don’t live up to the same hype either? I have high hopes for myself, but I’m just afraid that this is as good as it gets.