Dracula is in my bathroom

So, I was in my bathroom, doing my business this morning, when the ceiling vent starts to rattle.

Rat. Tat. Ratt-a-tat-tat. Tat. Tat-tat.

And there I was, literally caught with my pants down. The rattling started to get louder, and that’s when it clicked in my head: there was a creature in there.

My first thought was mouse, but no, it was too small for that. My second thought was that one of my cats fell down the vent, but seeing as they are both horrendously overweight, that seemed equally unlikely.

Naturally, the only conclusion that I was left with was that Dracula snuck into my vent disguised as a bat, and was now going to burst out of it and transform back into his vampire self so that he could suck my blood. I could see my obituary: “Kay was found dead on the toilet in the early hours of the morning.’ Glamorous way to go.

So I did the only logical thing: I ran upstairs screaming “DAAAAADDD! THERE’S A VAMPIRE IN MY BATHROOM!!!” (pulled up my pants first)

Once he got me calmed down and got a coherent explanation out of me, my dad unscrewed the vent cover (to my horror). A small bird flew out. We set it free outside, and my dad determined that it must have flown in through the dryer vent. He covered the dryer vent with metal screen, which should prevent future vampire/bird attacks.

This may have been a false alarm, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t be on the lookout for future vampire attacks.

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12 thoughts on “Dracula is in my bathroom

  1. Haha! I loved this!
    Put garlic in your bathroom. It’s multipurpose really, it’ll keep the vampires away, and neutralize any, um, odors (creating new ones of course)

  2. There were birds in the vent at my last house, too. There were birds in the basement, too. And in my roommate’s closet. Flippin’ everywhere!

  3. a bat landed on my chest once. I think it was just as scared as I was!

  4. Oh, the Twilight-generation!

    (I enjoy your writing, girl!)

  5. […] Have You Seen My Glass Slipper? A high school fairytale…in progress Skip to content Home20 Before 20CharactersPrologue ← Dracula is in my bathroom […]

  6. You have talent young lady. I also hate that I just said young lady. And where is your follow button (I am totally shaking a scolding finger at you like an old person)!?

  7. […] if only I could cure my vampire fears, I’d be set for life. Share this:FacebookTwitterDiggLike this:LikeBe the first to like […]

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