I’m talking about my brother, of course. He messaged me the other day and it was one sentence: “Here’s some bands you might like: (and I don’t even remember the bands”
That’s when I realized that I literally haven’t talked to my brother since January 2nd when he went back to university. To me, that seems like the strangest thing ever. How is it that someone who I lived with for the first fifteen years of my life can *poof* disappear out of it completely?
Pal and I have always been close, but we’re opposites. He’s the musician, I’m the athlete. He’s the sciencey one, and I’m the writer. We don’t even look alike. While he got my parent’s brown hair and hazel eyes, I am the genetic freak with blonde hair and blue eyes. Somehow, however, we always talked about everything. He knew about all of the mean girls and cliques in my 6th grade class, the boys I crushed on in junior high, and my fights with my best friend. And he told me about being bullied in elementary, how much he secretly hated his clarinet teacher because she put so much pressure on him, and his first girlfriend who would only see him outside of school when her friends couldn’t see.
We did have our fights, although I don’t specifically remember what they were about. Pal would go weeks being moody and distant, but he would always end up wanted to talk to me about something or other, so he’d break his silence. Pal once said that I was “the one constant thing in his life.”
That’s why when I got his message the other day, it hit a nerve. I’m afraid that this is what growing up is going to be like. Do you eventually outgrow the people of your childhood? If you move away does it mean that you just stop talking? The truth is that I don’t know how to stay in touch with my brother because I’ve never had to put any effort into our relationship before this; he’s just always been there. He was such a big part of my past, but I don’t know where he fits in my future. I don’t want him to be the kind of brother that I only see on stat holidays. There’s got to be another way. Isn’t there?